With all the ways you unleash your manliness upon the world, a life insurance policy couldn’t hurt!

If wives collected money for every time they could say “I told you so” to their husbands, well, their Woolies accounts would be paid off. Although accidents happen to everyone, men seem to find more interesting ways to kick the bucket. Below are eight examples of why it’s best to just get life insurance if you’re going to be all manly.

1. When you think you’re young

The family braai is going well until your nephew starts giving you gears about your age and how your rugby days are over. It’s time to prove to this laaitjie you’ve still got all the skill and muscle memory to tackle him like Beast. It’s a bit late to compare quotes when you’re riding in the ambulance, so plan ahead.

2. When you DIY

A few hotwings later and your other half has cracked a kitchen tile in her stiletto heels – of course it’s not her fault, and of course you’ll get it fixed before her mother comes to dinner.  No chance of calling a tiler and paying them to do a glorified art project. You can do it! Good luck with all those sharp tools and those soft city-boy hands, and try not to turn DIY into DIE.

3. When you’re Frank the Tank

Remember Will Ferrell in Old School? If you’re going to streak down the road after drinking your weight in booze, just watch out for cars. Many disastrous nights in a man’s life can be blamed on alcohol.  Make sure you’ve planned for your family before you do permanent liver damage.

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4. When you don’t need a GPS

Everyone knows a man doesn’t need directions – if you’re driving to the coast you just follow the smell of the sea and you’re guaranteed to be on the right track. If your internal navigation system leads you to a place where the grass is long and front teeth are scarce, you’ll wish you had signed the dotted line before the road trip.

5. When you’re doing donuts 

Donuts are dangerous – whether you’re spinning them out in the parking lot or stuffing them down your face. When you’re a man, parking lots have so much more potential right? Before you get behind the wheel and traumatize your tyres, make sure you’ve planned for more than just outdoing your buddies.

6. No really, go easy on the donuts

D is for donut, and for doom. Considering that South Africa has the highest rate of high blood pressure among people over 50, you might want to rethink that second greasy treat from the Shoprite bakery.

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7. When you’re showing off

Honestly, she probably doesn’t care that you don’t know the difference between Picasso and a potato salad. Showing off for the ladies can lead to all sorts of disaster, including bursting a blood vessel in your brain when you’re trying to appear as someone you aren’t. She loves you for your biceps, boet, no need to take her to that art gallery that you can’t even pronounce.

8. When you forget

It’s bound to happen to almost every man at some point – you’ll wake up one morning and something will nag at the back of your brain like a mosquito on your neck. Unless your memory kicks in quickly, you’re not likely to live to lunchtime. Set reminders on your phone for the birthdays and anniversaries of every important woman in your life…if you want to live.

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